We were all teenagers once, unless of course you haven’t went through that stage yet. If that is the case then please visit Club Penguin.
The following are all the stupid things we believed when we were young.
Top Ten Lies
- Life will be easier when I am an adult.
- When I get married I will have sex every day!
- When I get married and have this sex every day, my wife will enjoy it every time!
- Pecks today, Pecks forever.
- My girlfriend won’t get pregnant if we have sex.
- God listens to my prayers right before I take the test I didn’t study for.
- My parents don’t know as much as I do!
- I can’t make up my mind if I should pursue a career in the NFL or the NBA.
- I will always have these golden locks.
- Texting while driving 80mph is just fine. Seriously, quit worrying about me. I’ll be fine.
What is one lie you believed when you were a teenager? Share in the comments.
Boosting Your Dummy IQ,
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I skipped that ‘phase’ entirely.
I hatched, already in cranky old-dude mode.
A medical marvel, really.
I also skipped the teenager stage for the most part. I think that is why I am able to have observed and reported to you all the stupid things teenagers do.
How long can I write before my last sentence was becoming a run-on sentence?
I also skipped the teen years. I had puberty in utero and was born with chest hair and a voice deeper then James Earl Jones.
Holy crap! That’s deep!
1)Life will be easier when I am an adult.
I never believed this. I believed that I will be better prepared to handle crises as I had more life experiences. That has been disproven.
2)When I get married I will have sex every day!
I never believed that. That’s why I’m still single.
3)When I get married and have this sex every day, my wife will enjoy it every time!
Guilty as charged. I had always thought women would enjoy sex with me every time. I guess some women have birth defects.
4)Pecks today, Pecks forever.
I was born with man boobs.
5)My girlfriend won’t get pregnant if we have sex.
My daughter is proof that that just isn’t true.
6)God listens to my prayers right before I take the test I didn’t study for.
He does listen. It’s just that you didn’t like His answer.
7)My parents don’t know as much as I do!
Well, they don’t!
8)I can’t make up my mind if I should pursue a career in the NFL or the NBA.
9)I will always have these golden locks.
Nope – But I will always have these gray ones.
10)Texting while driving 80mph is just fine. Seriously, quit worrying about me. I’ll be fine.
I never text and drive. I never use a cell phone while driving. And I don’t drink and drive in towns with Republican mayors.
#4 –
sorry man
#5 –
#6 – I totally agree with that.
I enjoyed your whole response Ahmnodt!
1)Life will be easier when I am an adult.
Emotionally, yes. Because adults don’t lose their shit every time they get a zit. In every other way, NO WAY! When you’re a teen, you have it about as easy as it will ever be.
2)When I get married I will have sex every day!
I have been married blipty blip years and this is actually true. And I’m a woman.
3)When I get married and have this sex every day, my wife will enjoy it every time!
Meh. The candles and expensive presents are certainly mood enhancers.
4)Pecks today, Pecks forever.
Not unless I start keeping chickens.
5)My girlfriend won’t get pregnant if we have sex.
Actually that *IS* true too. I wouldn’t impregnate my girlfriend if I had sex with her. Of course for that to happen I would have to be a lesbian also, which I’m not.
6)God listens to my prayers right before I take the test I didn’t study for.
Ahmnodt is right on this one.
7)My parents don’t know as much as I do!
Teens think that just because they may know how to use Facebook and all the features on their phones that they know more than their parents. They don’t know what’s important though.
8)I can’t make up my mind if I should pursue a career in the NFL or the NBA.
Bag lady sounds free-spirited, attractive, and easy.
9)I will always have these golden locks.
With the help of some personal care products this is actually true.
10)Texting while driving 80mph is just fine. Seriously, quit worrying about me. I’ll be fine.
This is scary. Because I might end up sharing the road with someone who thinks this.
Wow, I am honored that a lady stopped by and commented!
I’m so used to having male commenters that I end up writing my posts with them in mind.
#3: Male Commenters, did you catch that? Keywords are Candle and Expensive Presents.
You had me giggling through your whole response!
I stand corrected. Sex not quite every day. There have been a few days off to have babies and stuff.
Slacker
“I am honored that a lady stopped by and commented”
Hey, loon – you see that ? Mel’s got you pegged right. You may be a woman but you’re no ‘Lady’ !!!
No way is the Loon a female. Seriously?
Tsk, tsk – are you going to be in trouble if she reads this
Man, Mel, you described my two stepkids to a tee. Oddly enough, I still believe a couple of these. I guess I’m still young, sexy, and impetuous.
Impetuous? Awfully big word for Dummies of the Year. Let me go look it up. brb
im·pet·u·ous/Adjective
1. Acting or done quickly and without thought or care; impulsive.
2. Moving forcefully or rapidly: “an impetuous flow of water”.
See, now doesn’t everybody feel smarter?
Raaah. Were y’all talking about me? I’m a WOMAN, (I just double checked.) The term “lady” means different things to different people. I am definitely not one of those prissy wussy makeup encrusted high-heel wearing creatures who faints if you say “damn,” gabs on and on about how much they weigh, is afraid of snakes & broken fingernails, and who needs a man to “take care” of them, if that’s what you mean.
I enjoy taking care of my wife but to each their own.
I’m a man but also scared of snakes.
I am still waiting for #2 to come true!!!
I am still waiting for #9 to come true!!!
That’s insanity my friend.
I believed that I would have a ranch bigger than JR Ewing and on each road it would be named after each one of my family members and on each of those roads would be their house. In the middle would be my giant mansion.
I also believed some kids were stupid and never amount to anything….those are the ones I envy now.
Crazy dreams. Are you a Texan or do you just admire the show Dallas?
Hey, I still have an account at Club Penguin
Hmm, when I was a kid I was pretty convinced the Russians were going to drop the “bomb” on us and we’d be living in a permanently nuclear winter.
Okay, now I can’t guess your age at all. You have a Club Penguin account which makes you about 18 if you have had it for a few years.
But…
You were a kid during the Cold War. That makes you about 30-64 years of age.
Yes, I’m between 30 and death
First of all, it’s Club Wombania where all the cool kids go, not Club Pegguin.
And second, I’m still only three (in Wombie years), so I don’t know anything about that teenage human stuff. But from my observations, I’d say all teen humans are insane.
Your observations are correct.
A little shameless self-promotion I see. Well since you are a okay in my book, go for it
You’ll have to forgive me, but I was compelled to correct such a grievous error. Club Peggywin is on its last legs.
I just noticed you didn’t say penguin in either comment.
Actually I didn’t say anything. I typed. Or is that key-stroked?
Just because you wear glasses doesn’t mean you are smarter than me
When I was a horny teenager I thought old people (i.e., folk over 40) didn’t have sex
I thought something similar. I thought those over 50 didn’t have the sex. I am only in my thirties but when I reach fifty I will be like the Energizer Bunny.
What? Pink with a battery up your bum?
Huh? Sounds like a bad porno. Maybe I’ll become a monk.
texting? texting? What the hell is texting?
You can bet your arse that there was none of that when I was a teenager.
I was once convicted of releasing a carrier pigeon whilst in control of a bullock cart. Does that count?
carrier pigeon + whilst + bullock cart = you are 136 years old. Correct?
Close! I’m not willing to disclose my age in a public forum, but if you let me have your address, I’ll pigeon you with it.
I’m on the European continent (Europe is a continent, right?)
Do you think the pigeon will survive the flight?
I went right from advanced toddler stage to mature adult by the age of 8. Or at least that’s what I thought then. You could have put the period after the 8th word in lie number two and it would have been more accurate!
Hilarious about the 8th word!
Thanks for the comment Will.
of course “taking care of” has many meanings too. I certainly enjoy taking care of my husband in certain ways, but I can install a sink trap, schlep my own full sized keyboard and fix my own computer.
Thanks for the clarity. You sound like a great woman. My wife could also absolutely take care of herself but she doesn’t mind the pampering.
Great relationships, I think, are when the couple take care of each other.
**Life will be easier when I am an adult.
- Yes. I would have to say for me this this is/was true.
**When I get married I will have sex every day!
- I thought it would be more around 1-3 times a week? Although, I am not married yet!
**When I get married and have this sex every day, my wife will enjoy it every time!
- Snoreeeeeeeeeeee.
**Pecks today, Pecks forever.
- Look at Tony Horton! Doing it right!
**My girlfriend won’t get pregnant if we have sex.
- I am a fem, so true.
**God listens to my prayers right before I take the test I didn’t study for.
- Agree with others, he always listens!
**My parents don’t know as much as I do!
- This is indeed true.
**I can’t make up my mind if I should pursue a career in the NFL or the NBA.
I was a cheerleader, and I never considered competitive.
**I will always have these golden locks.
- I will age beautifully. I will always have these red locks.
**Texting while driving 80mph is just fine.
- I always lecture on this!
**Seriously, quit worrying about me. I’ll be fine.
- I will be fine!