[This is part of the How to do Everything Correctly Series. Check out the other posts!]
1. Drink Red Bull
Red Bull gets a bad rap but it is probably safer than what you can buy at Starbucks.
2. Drink Starbucks Coffee
Starbucks coffee is really expensive but it is cheaper than cocaine.
3. Snort Cocaine
Just remember that if you get caught then you may have a new boyfriend in your new cell.
4. Exercise
Run away from your new boyfriend when he comes a knocking. Exercise has been proven to increase energy.
5. Sleep
When your done exercising take a nap. Sleep has been shown to make you more alert when the sleep isn’t actually happening.
6. Garden
When things are actually happening get up and plant a garden. Just make sure that your crop is not some form of sedative that you can later inject or snort.
7. Eat Healthy
Eat the vegetables from your garden. Vegetables are full of vitamins and vitamins have never been proven to prevent cancer.
8. Prevent Cancer
Stay away from cancer. Cancer makes one sleepy and sleep does nothing for your energy.
9. Get energy!
It has been proven that energy increases your energy even while your delusional.
10. Fake It
If you really want to never feel tired again then live in delusional land.
Boosting Your Dummy IQ,
How do you keep from feeling tired?
[This is part of The Unappreciated Blog Posts series]
I have the first three and the last one mastered. Steps 4 through 8 will take work. I heard that avoiding chemotherapy and not pulling all-nighters every night also help.
I hope I can avoid chemo for serious.
Of course you have #3 mastered. You are in politics after all
After discovering Red Bull I don’t need to sleep any more!
I had a Red Bull Cola this morning which was tested for step #3. They found traces of cocaine in it in Germany. I don’t believe it though.
I’m confused. Number 8 (…sleep does nothing for your energy.) contradicts number 5 (Sleep has been shown to make you more alert). I’m too tired to figure it out. I’m going to take a nap.
My while post contradicts each other
I was awake once.
I think.
Or maybe that was just a nightmare.
Was Freddy Krueger there?
Hacked? I had the same problem a few weeks ago… 1 blog survived, 1 didn’t… relocated but RIP pictures..
I was going to change hosting companies and I migrated and then back and lost my pics in the process.
pain in the butt going through archives and updating. good luck if you’re planning to do that!
shame though, your articles look nice and very well formatted.