Believe it or not but Chuck Norris requested this interview.  I have to say I am a little disappointed that it didn’t go as well as I would have liked.

I do know that he doesn’t think he is very tough, his favorite show is Lost and he couldn’t stop flirting with me no matter how many times I told him that Mel is male.

Mel: Are you as tough as the rumors say you are?

Mr. Norris: I did not say I was tough. Are you as tough as you say you are?

Mel: Not in comparison with you.

Mr. Norris: Remembering high school is making me change my answer, yes it is an accomplishment to blend into the crowd.

Mel: What is your secret to keeping your youth?

Mr. Norris: Blue harbor but my handler only uses it when it’s urgent.

Mel: What color belt do you have?

Mr. Norris: Blue/green.

Mel: Besides Walker Texas Ranger, what is your favorite tv show?

Mr. Norris: Yes, you can.

Mel: I thought you disliked Barack Obama?

Mr. Norris: I thought you did not like Nemo.

Mel: Well Yeah, I can’t stand Nemo. Again, what is your favorite television show?

Mr. Norris: ‘Lost’ is my favorite television show. I also like the television show ‘Mad Men.’.

Mel: Do you like Kung Fu?

Mr. Norris: No.

Mel: What is your opinion of woman?

Mr. Norris: I love you!!!!

Mel: I’m not a chick Chuck.

Mr. Norris: Yes you are.

Mel: Well if Chuck Norris says I am a woman then I better agree. Will you shave your beard?

Mr. Norris: You don’t love me anymore.

Mel: Chuck quit coming on to me!

Mr. Norris: Why are you being mean?

Mel: How big is Texas?

Mr. Norris: Its diameter is 12,756 km at the equator, if I recall correctly. Why?

Mel: Well I was just wandering if I could mess with it.

Mr. Norris: You’re clever.

Mel: Do you worship George Bush?

Mr. Norris: No.

Mel: Who do you worship?

Mr. Norris: I don’t worship anyone!

Mel: When you look in the mirror what do you see?

Mr. Norris: I see nothing.

Mel: Let’s talk more about you. What do you think of Chuck Norris?

Mr. Norris: Chuck Norris is my hero.

Mel: I thought so.

Mr. Norris: How is your day going?

Mel: Please let me ask the questions. Is there anything you would like to say to your fans?

Mr. Norris: I don’t want to say anything to you. You were supposed to be leaving.

Mel: Well bye then Mr. Rude!

Mr. Norris: Don’t go!

Mel: You’re a fickle pickle. Well I really got to go because you are starting to bore me.

As I began to leave the room Chuck Norris kick the crud out of me with his hiccups.

[What just happened did not in fact just happen, it was meant as satire and no celebrity was harmed in the making of this satirical interview. Thanks go to Cleverbot for providing the answers to my questions.]

Wasn’t that awesome? Check out more Famous Interviews!

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[This is part of The Unappreciated Blog Posts series]