The following is my very first interview via Cleverbot. My first interview is such an honor because it is the President of the United States Barack Obama.
I have to admit I was a bit intimidated about speaking with Mr. Obama but after a few minutes I realized I had nothing to worry about… except strange answers.
Mel: Thank you for this interview President Obama.
President Obama: No, thank you.
Mel: Were you mad about the news saying your dad was a white man from Kansas?
President Obama: Silly you, that’s not an answer.
Mel: What is the answer Mr. President?
President Obama: The answer to my question is the way in which you would choose to thank me.
Mel: Well Mr. President I was going to thank you by suggesting you be put on the 3 dollar bill. What do you think about that?
President Obama: That I will agree with.
Mel: Here is a question from a 2nd grader in Oklahoma.
President Obama: Mostly by trying things out for myself. But also by reading and listening to things.
Mel: Billy wants to know if you will run for a 2nd term.
President Obama: Cool!
Mel: Billy also wanted to know if you are giong to remove the pop machines from the caf.
President Obama: I used to listen to Billy Joel.
Mel: That’s weird because this kids last name is Joel. Moving on. What are your plans for the war?
President Obama: You don’t need to write it, I will. I just don’t want to.
Mel: So you are too lazy to write a solution to the war?
President Obama: That’s not what I’m saying.
Mel: What are you saying about the war?
President Obama: That you are possibly deranged.
Mel: Okay? Well next question. What is your honest opinion about democrats and sex scandals?
President Obama: I don’t have a horse.
Mel: Is horse code for whore?
President Obama: You just avoided my question.
Mel: What was your question?
President Obama: Are you a christian?
Mel: Yes Mr. President I am a Christian but that doesn’t mean I work for FOX if that is what you mean.
President Obama: I believe in vampires.
Mel: Huh?! That brings me to my next question. Will you bring your daughters to see the next Twilight movie?
President Obama:Yes, go to bed.
Mel: Sir the people want to know if you are nervous about Ahmnodt Heare?
President Obama: My genetics are of the ordinary type!
Mel: Mr. President do you believe that you can win against Ahmnodt Heare?
President Obama: Bush is no longer the president.
Mel: The people must know! Do you Mr. President stand a chance against Ahmnodt Heare?
President Obama: Bush is president of the United States of America.
Mel: First thing that comes to your mind when I say “Ahmnodt Heare”.
President Obama: The opposite of me is an evil version of me.
Mel: So you are good and Ahmondt Heare is evil?
President Obama: I wouldn’t say that.
Mel: What does “Yes We Can” mean?
President Obama: That you are.
Mel: Are what?
President Obama: Wrong.
Mel: Do you have a catchy presidential campaign slogan for Ahmnodt Heare?
President Obama: “Yes, I do have a cat.”
Mel: Does (I accidentally hit enter after I typed Does and this was President Obama’s response)
President Obama: Does Obama have a tiny shmeckal?
Mel: I don’t know sir? Do you have a tiny shmeckal?
President Obama: No, but I have the BR gun.
Mel: That’s gross Mr. President. Any final words before we sign off?
President Obama: You are fun.
Mel: Well thank you sir and so are you even though my shmeckal is tiny.
President Obama: I am a lady, not a sir.
Mel: That’s for a whole other interview Mr. President. Thank you for your time.
President Obama: Well I think it would be kind of dangerous having a conversation like this while you’re flying.
Mel: I really have to go.
President Obama: Well, I’m feeling weary, so I will go too. Thank you for the chat, I found it interesting.
[What just happened did not in fact just happen, it was meant as satire and no celebrity was harmed in the making of this satirical interview. Thanks go to Cleverbot for providing the answers to my questions.]
Boosting Your Dummy IQ,
[This is part of The Unappreciated Blog Posts series]