Happy Earth Day everybody. In celebration of today I have decided to interview Planet Earth. His heart is in Detroit but his favorite country is Portugal.
Surprisingly he is only 23. Hope you enjoy the interview.
Mel: Thank you Planet Earth for taking the time to speak to your inhabitants.
Planet Earth: Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit.
Mel: In what year were you born?
Planet Earth: I was born in 1987.
Mel: How do you feel about the environment?
Planet Earth: I enjoy it. I listen to an iPod often.
Mel: What are you doing for Earth Day?
Planet Earth: Nothing why?
Mel: Nothing, I just thought you would look at it personally.
Planet Earth: Why do you say so?
Mel: Well it is your holiday, isn’t it?
Planet Earth: It may or may not be.
Mel: What is your favorite country?
Planet Earth: Portugal.
Mel: How do you feel about recycling?
Planet Earth: I am Lutheran.
Mel: So do you view Lutheranism as just a recycled version of Catholicism?
Planet Earth: No.
Mel: Well how do you view Lutheranism?
Planet Earth: I see it as a good place.
Mel: Not to embarrass you but we heard about your big pimple up in Iceland.
Planet Earth: I don’t love you anymore.
Mel: We kind of got the hint since you left all those people in the airport stranded. What do you have to say about that?
Planet Earth: Would you do something for me?
Mel: What would you like me to do?
Planet Earth: I would like you to tell me about your favorite movie.
Mel: I like the movie 2012.
Planet Earth: They don’t have a movie.
Mel: No they do. You must watch the movie 2012. It is about Planet Earth getting destroyed. Wait, that movie is about you. Never mind.
Mel: Tell us Planet Earth, where did you come from? Were you created by God or was it the big bang?
Planet Earth: I was created by the Cleverbot company, by Mr. Hinkgle.
Mel: So is Mr. Hinkgle God?
Planet Earth: Sure.
Mel: Any wisdom for your fans?
Planet Earth: A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy.
Mel: What should we commit to?
Planet Earth: I think we should talk about philosophy.
Mel: What is your favorite philosophy?
Planet Earth: My destiny is the place where I am.
Mel: What year do you think you will die?
Planet Earth: What year do you think that I think it is?
Mel: I think 2536.
Planet Earth: You forgot the sign.
Mel: Cancer?
Planet Earth: You think I am cancer? Seriously?
Mel: Yep.
Planet Earth: Well what gender are you?
Mel: I’m a male.
Planet Earth: Have you ever wanted to know what its like to be a female?
Mel: Uh… Mr. Earth I think we need to change topics. Is there anything you would like to say before we close this interview?
Planet Earth: Seriously? You’re ditching me?
Mel: Ditches are made of dirt and the Earth is made of dirt, so therefore ditching you is a good thing.
Mel: Happy Earth Day!
Planet Earth: Thank you very much.
[What just happened did not in fact just happen, it was meant as satire and no celebrity was harmed in the making of this satirical interview. Thanks go to Cleverbot for providing the answers to my questions.]
Wasn’t that awesome? Check out more Famous Interviews!
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