[This is part of the How to do Everything Correctly Series. Check out the other posts!]
I’m not a big fan of cute little kittens even though they bring tons of visitors my way. Sure, kittens have cute little faces but they have one thing I can’t stand.
Claws!
Those stinking claws dig into everything. One has to wear protective crotch gear in order to pet those dang fuzz balls (I’m talking about the cats pervert).
5 Easy Tips To Declawing Cats
Before trying my declawing tips make sure the cat has clawed your eyes and/or private parts a few times so you are good and mad.
- Pliers: Grab the cat by the neck, take a pair of pliers and clamp those little claws off.
- Firecrackers: Stick some Black Cats between your cat’s toes and light away. Your cat need not be black in order to try this.
- Super Glue: Glue your cute little kitten’s painful dangerous claws to a tree. Let them hang upside down until the kitten falls off leaving their claws behind.
- Microwave: Wrap aluminium foil around your cat’s feet and gently place Mittens in the microwave and set on defrost. The foil will begin to spark and release the claws from Mitten’s paws.
- Car Tire: Thump, thump, meoooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww!! Croke. Nuff said.
Those are my 5 tips on how to declaw a cute little kitten. They’re really simple enough to accomplish, especially after your favorite alcoholic beverage.
Do you have any other tips on how to declaw kittens? Share in the comments.
Boosting Your Dummy IQ,
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It’s reel eezy to do it the doggy way. Yoo just choo up the kitty kat & spit owt the bones & the claws shood be still konekted to thair porz tow bones. Then yoo just leev them thair for yor hyooman servant to kleen up or bery them in Mummy’s flowa gardin
Ahh! Thanks for the great tip Dixie.
Good tips & very effective methods you outlined Mel.
Thanks Tony. I am glad you approve.
I thought just taking them to the vet and not worrying about it did the trick.
My tips are for those who don’t have pet health insurance. Do you know how much money I am saving everyone?
I haven’t heard about these before…
only the classic ‘string around the doorknob’ (or car bumper) trick.
Oh yeah! Why didn’t I mention the car bumper. Silly me.
String around the doorknob? I thought was for teeth?
Um, no, but I do know how to make a kitten bark. Pour petrol over it, light a match and it will go wooooooffff!!!!
I knew a guy in highschool who set a frog on fire. Maybe you and I went to highschool together.
Bet froggy was hopping mad about that
or croaked it
Hardy har har
I will not declaw a kitten. They make great weapons. If someone breaks into your home, just throw your kitten at the robber and the claws will do the work.
How do you protect your delicate body parts and still let your cat keep the claws?
Any tips would be helpful.