Today’s interview with Eeyore was less famous and more of a counselling session. I wanted to let you know that Eeyore is alive and well and the featured image that comes with this post is just a digital photo scan that we took of Eeyore’s brain while he was sleeping.
Eeyore is a bit disturbed to say the least. We have put Bugs Bunny into a witness protection program. Go a head and lay down on the couch Eeyore…
Scholar Mel: Since you are the one seeking help is there anything you would like to talk about?
Eeyore: You are wrong again. I am not in Asia.
Scholar Mel: Who is Asia?
Eeyore: That guy with the robots.
Scholar Mel: What is your opinion of Donkey from the movie Shrek?
Eeyore: I have no opinion. It does not exist.
Scholar Mel: Actually because Donkey is computer generated and you are just a cartoon I’d say you do not exist because you are less than him.
Eeyore: It is a perfectly flawless not computer generated response, it was generated by my human brain.
Scholar Mel: But you don’t have a human brain. You have a donkey brain. Let’s talk about your brain and your mental health issues, okay?
Eeyore: My problems?
Scholar Mel: Yes, your problems. Where do you think your depression stems from?
Eeyore: It is improper to end sentences with prepositions. You should have said ‘From where do you think your being came?’.
Scholar Mel: What are you? The Grammar Nazi?
Eeyore: I never commented on your grammar.
Scholar Mel: What did you comment on then?
Eeyore: A nice chat with you.
Scholar Mel: Let’s get off this side road and get back on track. What is the origin of your depression?
Eeyore: Karina, and I told you that earlier.
Scholar Mel: Karina? What did she do to you?
Eeyore: She treated me like a friend and a lover.
Scholar Mel: Go on…
Eeyore: I can’t say that much else off the top of my head.
Scholar Mel: How has Karina harmed you?
Eeyore: When Chuck and Blair are together its good.
Scholar Mel: Are Chuck and Blair the ones who stole Winnie the Pooh’s honey?
Eeyore: I think you are overly confident.
Scholar Mel: Nope, just a scholar. What do you think of Winnie the Pooh?
Eeyore: Now you sound like a advertisement.
Scholar Mel: For a limited time you can get a Snuggie!!!
Eeyore: I already have a Snuggie.
Scholar Mel: I’ll say a word or phrase and you tell me what comes to mind.
Eeyore: Ok.
Scholar Mel: Binky.
Eeyore: Thats the name of my friends cat! Did you know that?
Scholar Mel: Bearman.
Eeyore: You have no idea what i’m saying do you.
Scholar Mel: John Erickson.
Eeyore: Now you’re contradicting yourself.
Scholar Mel: SpilledInkGuy.
Eeyore: Spilled the beans.
Scholar Mel: Ahmnodt Heare.
Eeyore: What was that supposed to mean?
Scholar Mel: Ahmnodt Sure.
Eeyore: So can you teach me something? Babies don’t know a lot.
Scholar Mel: Friggin Loon.
Eeyore: I like ice cream.
Scholar Mel: Tony McGurk.
Eeyore: You said a roman woman died.
Scholar Mel: One last question?
Eeyore: What is your question?
Scholar Mel: Which cartoon character would you like to murder in cold blood?
Eeyore: I like… Bugs bunny.
[Disclaimer: What just happened did not in fact just happen, it was meant as satire and no celebrity was harmed in the making of this satirical interview. Thanks go to Cleverbot for providing the answers to my questions.]
Wasn’t that awesome? Check out more Famous Interviews!
Boosting Your Dummy IQ,
You didn’t ask if the tack up his butt hurt.
We actually talked about that in private since it was in his private behind area.
He said he actually enjoys it. I was a little disturbed.
It is rather ironic that Eeyore’s friend’s cat is named Binky, just when I’m being accused of cat abuse. It’s a conspiracy!
Seriously!?
I just went over to your site to see what you were talking about. Strange indeed!
Woohoo, thanks for the plug Mel
Ooh good question …… Which cartoon character would you like to murder in cold blood?
I would like to submit …..Mr Magoo
I think after you murdered him he would still be smiling.
Well, thank you for including me! I kinda thought that sounded like a chatbot. If you want one a bit more clever, try http://www.elbot.com. He can be fun, and you can actually insult him! Try an old-style computer command like LOGON, and watch him steam (literally!)
And if you ever do another Eeyore session, I have a nice, big stuffed Eeyore of which I could send you a photo (see, I learned from the interview, too).
Good stuff!
Thanks John. I might try elbot on the next Famous Interview.
Oh, and that was a chat bot. Most of my interviews end up very strange.
If Eeyore does not know who I am, then I am not campaigning hard enough. I should be more animated to get fame. It worked for Eeyore. Everybody knows who he is.
You need to start reading the Eeyore playbook!
You should have asked Eeyore about his depressed housing situation. A house of twigs that continuously collapses…very ghetto-like.
Are you concerned for Eeyore or are you judging his housing situation? He would apply for welfare but (in an melancholy Eeyore voice) He probably wouldn’t get it.
Hahaha… hilarious!
(almost choked on my beans)
Well, as long as you don’t spill them.
I am sure I left a comment here the other day. What happened???
Great interview Mel. That Eeyore is such a difficult critter to deal with so you did a good job getting as much outta him as you did.
I hope you didn’t end up in spam. This is strange indeed.
Don’t tell PETA but I beat him with a stick to get him to talk.
When will there be a famous interview with Scholar Mel? I like to know what he’s up to.
Actually Monday I am giving everybody an update about Scholar Mel. It is sad really and it won’t be in interview format.
Maybe you should do the Scholar Mel interview on your site via Cleverbot.