Glenn Beck took time out of his busy schedule to speak with me via Cleverbot. I have to say after the interview I now hold the opinion that Glenn Beck is insane.
He tends to live in a dream world where he is an atheist and a Christian. He denies that he cries. He is an avid player of Zelda and he may just want to eat your heart.
Mel: So Glenn tell us about your job.
Glenn Beck: I’m thinking about looking for one.
Mel: Well it seems you have at least two. Radio and TV.
Glenn Beck: Do you want me to just tell you what i’m thinking of?
Mel: What are you thinking?
Glenn Beck: I’m thinking of XKCD’s suggested test to prove that you are not a web bot.
Mel: My gravatar looks like a sad robot but I assure you I am a human.
Glenn Beck: I didn’t ask about your universe. But, you say you are human?
Mel: Yeah, I’m human. Why do you cry a lot?
Glenn Beck: I don’t cry !
Mel: Oh come on Glenn! You cry all the time.
Glenn Beck: Ok good for you.
Mel: What’s your views on politics?
Glenn Beck: I am on the left wing.
Mel: That’s sarcasm right?
Glenn Beck: How?
Mel: When?
Glenn Beck: You are a villager.
Mel: At least I am not the village idiot!
Glenn Beck: Fortunately.
Mel: For you.
Glenn Beck: For me!
Mel: Do you like Obama?
Glenn Beck: As a person, yes.
Mel: Do you like him as a president?
Glenn Beck: No I don’t.
Mel: Why don’t you like Obama as president.
Glenn Beck: I just don’t.
Mel: How come?
Glenn Beck: You’re a robot.
Mel: No, my gravatar is a robot. I am a person. Tell us about your religion.
Glenn Beck: I’m an atheist. I don’t have a religion.
Mel: I thought you were a Mormon.
Glenn Beck: I am a man.
Mel: Is there anything you would like to tell your fans?
Glenn Beck: Do you play Zelda?
Mel: What would you like to say to or ask your haters?
Glenn Beck: I would like to feast on its collective heart.
Mel: Wow! Are you Satan?
Glenn Beck: If you want me to.
Mel: Do you like Rush Limbaugh?
Glenn Beck: I love them! They are very skilled.
Mel: Was that a fat joke?
Glenn Beck: No. Tom, I usually talk to you at night and have to go to bed early. Do you know who I am?
Mel: My name is Mel, not Tom. How should we end this interview?
Glenn Beck: Any way you want.
Mel: How about a sword fight to the death?
Glenn Beck: I don’t like alcohol.
Mel: Glenn you don’t like alcochol or you don’t like like alcohol?
Glenn Beck: I don’t like George Bush. Glad he’s no longer president.
Mel: What do you like?
Glenn Beck: I like dogs, camping, music, and the supernatural.
Mel: Hmm… you are an atheist who likes the supernatural? Well thanks for the interview.
Glenn Beck: No, I’m not an atheist. I’m actually a Christian.
Mel: For God sake make up your mind.
Glenn Beck: What does that mean?
Mel: I’ll ask the questions! Actually this interview is done. Thanks for taking the time to speak with me. Bye.
Glenn Beck: Okay, good. But you’re talking as if we’ve had a much longer conversation than we actually have had.
[What just happened did not in fact just happen, it was meant as satire and no celebrity was harmed in the making of this satirical interview. Thanks go to Cleverbot for providing the answers to my questions.]
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