[This is part of the How to do Everything Correctly Series. Check out the other posts!]
Kidney stones can be a pain in the butt! Wait, no not there Scholar Mel. Actually they can be a pain in the urethra! I have had stones as big as boulders that required a lot of work to eliminate.
I don’t want you to go through the pain I have so allow me to save you from screaming, “Oh GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!”
Top 7 Ways to Get Rid of Kidney Stones
- Drink Lemon Juice: The citric acid from the lemons will eat away at the stones. What you have to ask yourself is if the acid will erode other things like your teeth.
- Don’t Eat Ice Cream: Everyone knows that the main ingredient in ice cream is calcium. What are kidney stones made of? Calcium. Looks like calcium is the culprit.
- Eat Ice Cream: Everyone knows that eating more ice cream won’t necessarily cause kidney stones. Even if it did, who could quit eating Tin Roof Sundae?
- Sonic Waves: Let the doctors pound on your back with sonic waves. Ask for extra morphine when they crank the poundometer way up!
- Trains: Stand in front of the train when it passes. The impact from the train will loosen the stone and make it pass more easily. Or maybe it was that you would pass more easily.
- Stop Drinking Coffee: Coffee leaches one’s bones of calcium which in turn causes kidney stones to form. Stop drinking your liquid speed and stop the stones.
- Drink Water: Drink around a half-gallon to a gallon of water each and everyday and you will not have stones (guaranteed!)
#7 I have been using for the last 6 years and have only had a speck of a kidney stone one time.
Name your best kidney stone preventing, eliminating tip in the comments!
Last one isn’t true. I drink so much water my wife thought I was diabetic. Guess who got a kidney stone 2 years ago. ME.
Doc said no high protein (Adkins, Soutbeach) diets. Then if I got another one that he would have to do further tests and possibly limit the calcium.
I was joking on all of them accept the last one. #7 has been the only thing that has worked for me.
I don’t eat a high protein diet and the one little stone I have had in the last 6 years was actually while I was lifting weights and downing the protein powder.
So the water thing does work, maybe just not on special high protein diets.
If I don’t drink water I get stones so big that I have had to spend time in the hospital.
Also, as far as calcium is concerned I have had two different doctors tell me two different things. It is calcium, it isn’t calcium. Well which is doc? They don’t seem to agree.
Are kidney stones catchy? I’d better stay away from you two!
Only if you eat too much chocolate
They are only highly contagious for those who blog on a regular basis… oh, and for those who eat chocolate.
I refuse to believe it!
Hahaha… will any train do, or do I have to make it down to the tracks in time for The Kidney Stone Special?!
A good ICE should do just fine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_Qo4a_3IeQ
Oh No!!! The horror the carnage
It was especially bad when the dog peed on the train set.
AH-Haha!
I love Legos! I only had one train, but I used to do similar things all the time… or see how fast I could take it into an especially tight curve… good times!
I only get to watch it on videos. I’ve never had a train set. But it’s okay… no really *whimper*
It’s never too late, Mel
(I’m still trying to convince my wife to let me build a small scale set into a coffee table)…
she doesn’t seem to think it’s as classy as I do. Eh.
Tell me, are you sure your wife knows class?
Coffee causes kidney stones? I drink so much coffee I’ll be passing a mountain.
It does for me. If you haven’t passed that mountain yet then I wouldn’t worry about it much.
I think you should play heavy metal music very loud, and place the speakers, umm, lower than normal.
Well, your kidneys are located in your lower back region so that should suffice. But I’m not opposed to putting the speakers on my crotch if that is what you are driving at.
Just have your kidneys removed, problem solved!
The side affects of removing kidneys isn’t too bad right?
Don’t think so, might be a bit of scarring though.
I think the train method is probably a good cheap alternative to going to the doctors.
It’s free.
When I had kidney stones many years ago I was told it was because of the amount of cheese I ate daily – so I had to cut down
Incidentally, No7 on your list – drink water – is only partially true. To be really effective, a SMALL amount of water mixed with a LARGE amount of whisky must be taken one or more times a day.
I have been following this regime for many years now , myself, and have not had a single recurrence of kidney stones.
Co-incidence?
I think not !!!
I’ll have to try the whiskey thing. Does it matter which brand?
I took the following article to my doctor, who thought it made lots of sense. I have recurrent kidney stones, and so now I’ve been taking vitamin K2 supplements now for a few weeks. Will it help prevent future stones? …time will tell.
http://www.knowguff.com/2011/06/calcium-vitamin-d-linked-to-kidney.html
I also highly recommend you follow the links in the article to read more about vitamin K…pretty fascinating stuff. Who knew?!
Thanks for the article Stoner.