Hugh Hefner proposed to his 24-year-old girlfriend Crystal Harris over the Christmas weekend. I felt he needed to know that he was a pervert but he already knew this and seemed kind of proud about it.
If you are an 18-year-old woman, don’t tell him that you are only 15. This will cause him to become violent. He plans on never dying and enjoying his many mistresses. Enjoy this Famous Interview.
Mel: Thanks for the interview Hugh.
Hefner: What interview?
Mel: I am going to ask you questions that were sent in by some of your biggest Playboy fans.
Hefner: Okay, go.
Mel: Are you the smartest pervert on the planet?
Hefner: Of course, besides the person part.
Mel: How many wives would you like to have before you kick the bucket?
Hefner: Only one, but I have several mistresses.
Mel: Do you take pictures of naked women or do you pay somebody to do that?
Hefner: I like to make people think. If you call that messing with them, then yes.
Mel: What will happen to your empire when you die?
Hefner: I will die?
Mel: You will die someday. What will you do with all of your bunnies?
Hefner: I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t like you the way you like me.
Mel: I am going to say a word and you tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.
Hefner: Okay.
Mel: Naked.
Hefner: Nude?
Mel: Dirty old man.
Hefner: Dirty.
Mel: Hugh Hefner.
Hefner: Who’s the third?
Mel: God.
Hefner: Who is god?
Mel: Jesus.
Hefner: Who is Jesus?
Mel: Your soul burning in Hell.
Hefner: Are you God?
Mel: One more. 18-year-old women.
Hefner: You just told me that you’re female and 15 years old!
Mel: What are our plans for your 85th birthday party?
Hefner: Well, we can go to Hawaii.
Mel: If you live long enough will you vote for Ahmnodt Heare for President?
Hefner: I am tired now. In fact I am voiding my bladder and then I will go to sleep.
Mel: Is there anything you would like to say to your subscribers?
Hefner: I would like to know the square root of infinity.
Mel: What will be your next big move?
Hefner: My next move is Pawn E7 to E8.
Mel: Thank you for not having a stroke from taking too much Viagra during our interview.
Hefner: Are you a girl? If you are then I will have to do nasty things to you.
Mel: I am a dude and this interview is done!
Hefner: See, this is what I’m talking about. I try to have a straight conversation, but you keep jumping around.
Mel: Bye!
Hefner: Wait, some horses can fly, they are called Pegasus. You mean that’s just a myth??
Mel: You are a crazy, dirty and senile old man.
Hefner: I am not! I am a full-grown 18-year-old female human slave.
Mel: Creepy…
[Disclaimer: What just happened did not in fact just happen, it was meant as satire and no celebrity was harmed in the making of this satirical interview. Thanks go to Cleverbot for providing the answers to my questions.]
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