Santa Claus Lap Questions 2nd Edition
It sure was great fun hanging out with the gang on Monday. I’m not too thrilled with Scholar Mel’s conspiracy theory! How dare him call me Bearman Satan! 
I will give the Scholar a break for including me in a Famous Interview.
Climb on My Lap!
Climb up on Santa’s lap and ask me just about any question. Since I am the All Seeing Wizard of the North Pole Iam full of knowledge. Ask away!!
Binky, the moon rockets are on back order. I am not actually licenced to make moon rockets so I out source the work to Russia.
Russian elves just aren't the same as North Pole elves.
Oh, I forgot to ask. Do you eat venison???
I always thought it'd be fun to leave out venison for you instead of cookies
I love venison but I can't eat it one night out of the year. If I had deer on my breath when I came back to the sleigh I would be stuck on your roof because the boys would refuse to go back to work. Thanks Tony but I don't really think you want a few tons setting on your roof for who knows how long.
I love venison but I can't eat it one night out of the year. If I had deer on my breath when I came back to the sleigh I would be stuck on your roof because the boys would refuse to go back to work. Thanks Tony but I don't really think you want a few tons setting on your roof for who knows how long.
With the emphasis on environmentally green friendly lighting will you be changing Rudolph's nose over to an energy saving LED?
Rudolph's nose is actually what keeps the North Pole so warm. See Tony, his nose is a nuclear power house. We're just really hoping he doesn't have a melt down some day!
Rudolph's nose is actually what keeps the North Pole so warm. See Tony, his nose is a nuclear power house. We're just really hoping he doesn't have a melt down some day!
We know the story of Rudolf, and of Donner and Blitzen. When do we get to hear the stories behind the names of the other reindeer?
Dasher: Well, old Dasher was up for the official logo for Dodge truck but then he got beat out by a ram. Which has a better ring to it, Dodge Dasher or Dodge Ram?
Dancer: Prancer's boyfriend.
Prancer: Oh, he is such a jokester. During the fall months he likes to head on down to Kansas and hangout at those deer crossing signs. Just when a car appraoches he likes to prance right over the top of them. Scares the crap out of the driver! :-D
Vixen: She's always in a foul mood. I've thought about replacing her with a good goat.
Comet: Comet tends to emit too much gas and when we really get going it appears he has the tail of a comit coming from his rear end.
Cupid: Always trying to play match maker. How many times do I have to tell him that I am married to Mrs. Claus!?
I thought Comet was the janitor around the North Pole, cleansing up sinks and counters and such. No?
We had to make him stop. He kept scuffing the toilets and eating the comet which made him vomit.
Dasher: Well, old Dasher was up for the official logo for Dodge truck but then he got beat out by a ram. Which has a better ring to it, Dodge Dasher or Dodge Ram?
Dancer: Prancer's boyfriend.
Prancer: Oh, he is such a jokester. During the fall months he likes to head on down to Kansas and hangout at those deer crossing signs. Just when a car appraoches he likes to prance right over the top of them. Scares the crap out of the driver! :-D
Vixen: She's always in a foul mood. I've thought about replacing her with a good goat.
Comet: Comet tends to emit too much gas and when we really get going it appears he has the tail of a comit coming from his rear end.
Cupid: Always trying to play match maker. How many times do I have to tell him that I am married to Mrs. Claus!?
We had to make him stop. He kept scuffing the toilets and eating the comet which made him vomit.
Is it wrong to re-gift?
Loon, of course it is.
You're essentially saying, "Here, have the crap I didn't want!"
That is the problem with mere humans. They don't know what gifts to give like Old Saint Nick. If I were the one giving the gift you would have been content.
Loon, of course it is.
You're essentially saying, "Here, have the crap I didn't want!"
That is the problem with mere humans. They don't know what gifts to give like Old Saint Nick. If I were the one giving the gift you would have been content.
Do you keep the receipts for all that coal you always leave me?!
The Walmart folks always look at me strangely when I bring it in without one.
:)
The coal was for your fire place Sig!
How do you fit all the toys on your sleigh?
If you only stop at Christian children's homs, how come I never see you in church?
Well Bearman, I can only fit so many toys in my sleigh. I have to make multiply returns to the North Pole and fill'er up again and again. I am faster than a speeding bullet.
It is a myth that I only stop in Christian children's homes. I love stopping in Turkish children's homes also. They leave Turkish pepper candy! :-)
You don't see me in church because of my celebrity status. I am a believer (and a belieber). I wouldn't have a job and a deception to make if it wasn't for the real Christmas story.
Well Bearman, I can only fit so many toys in my sleigh. I have to make multiply returns to the North Pole and fill'er up again and again. I am faster than a speeding bullet.
It is a myth that I only stop in Christian children's homes. I love stopping in Turkish children's homes also. They leave Turkish pepper candy! :-)
You don't see me in church because of my celebrity status. I am a believer (and a belieber). I wouldn't have a job and a deception to make if it wasn't for the real Christmas story.
Binky (2)
John Erickson (1)
Where are my moon rockets?! I've been asking for them for years, and you never deliver!
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