Why do some people stay together for life while others escalate from one relationship to the next and become unhappy over and over again? Which points are important for living together and inspire love?
Happy relationship: This is how it can succeed
Closeness and distance
Everyone has their own need for togetherness and their own freedom. While he likes to go to the mountains with his buddies, maybe she loves cosy weekends together. Respect, trust and a willingness to compromise are important here. Give each other common spaces in which you can build closeness to each other, but also allow the thirst for freedom. Listen to your own feelings, but don’t put your need ahead of your partner’s needs. The trick is to find a balance that both can live with.
Tolerance and acceptance
Think about it. How much understanding do you actually demand yourself if you don’t put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher right away, get upset about a free newspaper that hasn’t been delivered or never think about your loved one’s birthdays? In a relationship, acceptance is key. You want to be accepted for who you are. The standards you set for your partner should also apply to yourself.
Harmony and culture of debate
If you notice that something is upsetting you, stop for a moment. And think, what is really the problem? You often only really vent when you get home. A trifle becomes a matter of state. If there really is a conflict that you see in your partner’s behaviour, first think about what you want. Merely venting your negative feelings will not necessarily lead to insight. Argue calmly, objectively, purposefully and from your own point of view.
Changing the behaviour of another person is difficult. On the other hand, you have the greatest influence on yourself.
Get the love
Researchers have found that about nine compliments can outweigh one negative statement. So if you complain once, you have to praise nine times to mend the small tear in your partner’s self-confidence. Compliments are important, strengthen you and give you security and satisfaction.